How to deal with being alone


Being alone for the first time for a long amount of time is hard and I’m not going to try to convince you how amazing it is and how free it will make you feel. No, I’m here to tell you how to deal with being alone when you didn’t choose it.

I’m not going to talk about how I got left alone, I’m just going to tell you how I’m dealing with it and what is helping me. But to be quite honest, I don’t know what’s helping me. It’s been only 4 weeks and I’m just so emotionally exhausted/drained. So let me tell you, you’re not alone even when it feels like you are. There are people going through the same thing, thinking the same as you.

Make the best out of being alone

You need to take care of yourself. Don’t skip meals, preferably cook them yourself (it’s way healthier and cheaper) and drink enough water (at least 2 litres a day). Hah, this is pretty damn ironical coming from me.

Do something that makes you not think about things. Play games, go to the gym, go out and take pictures, … Try to avoid being left alone with just your thoughts because it will make you feel worse. I got back to blogging, got into Python coding and found new music to listen to while I do so.

Don’t skip school or work. There are people in there and even if you don’t talk to them, just being around other human beings can be beneficial. You have no idea how glad I am I go to work. I just can’t imagine being alone 24/7. Work makes my mind busy, it makes me stop concentrating on everything back home. Heck, I even started hating my own room and started living in the living room with my dog. Just don’t become workaholic, go home and be home from time to time.

Stuff around the house

This is something I’ve been really struggling with. Yes, I’m 22 but I’m pretty dang spoiled. I had never had to do anything in the house other than clean my room.

So in the past four weeks, I learned how to use the washing machine properly (what products to use, how much to use, what buttons to press, etc.), how to add water to a boiler (man, it was freezing in the night and I was without warm water and any heating for two days, I’m so proud of myself for figuring it out), how to clean the pipes (sinks, bathtub, toilet), what all the programs our dishwasher has and what they do, how to clean out and decalcify the coffee maker, how to take out a spider out of the house without spraying it with so much spray it would end up freezing to death (I actually took it out alive), etc. All those ‘normal’ things I never had to do. So yeah, Google is your best friend.

For example, trying to figure out the boiler was the hardest thing in the world and you have no idea how proud I am that I actually did it. It’s also in the backroom, that we have instead of a cellar, that is just filled with both dead and live spiders everywhere. Yeah, I had never gone there since we stopped cleaning there till last week because of my arachnophobia.

One thing I cannot help with is how to pay the rent and all the things associated with houses. It’s automated from my mom’s bank account so I haven’t had to deal with that yet.

Pets help you feel less alone

If you have a pet, depending on what you have (I have a dog), it may be a bit harder or easier. For me, having a dog alone is… confusing. It both helps me, makes me feel like I’m not really alone here, and at the same time it makes me feel worse. After all, I can’t take care of myself, how can I have her depend on me as well? She can’t do anything without me.

Well, make sure they have enough water and food. That’s the most important thing. Next thing is giving them something to do. For my dog that’s giving her bottles to open and chew on, going out on walks with her, playing games with her, and cuddling her. Give them something to do so they don’t become depressed.

Your own thoughts

I honestly have nothing to add here because I’m still struggling with this. Even tho I’m in my own house (well, my mom’s house) with my dog, I just feel so homesick due to the absence of my mom, but that’s for a different time.

As I mentioned earlier, you need to do something so you’re not left alone with your own thoughts. Try talking to a friend, therapist or family member. They might not fully understand what you’re going through, but they might be the support you need.

If you’re antisocial like me and have no friends, join some communities, forums, anything. For example, I joined one really toxic Discord server because I can say whatever I want and no one will ever care. It sounds really dumb, but it’s helping me.

Well, I hope this was at least somehow useful to you. I’m not much help because I’m still trying to figure it out but… yeah. Thank you for reading. I’ll probably post an updated one once I’m not (hopefully) alone anymore.

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My name is Ellie and I’m an IT support in one European beauty e-shop. I have many hobbies – physics, bullet journalling, coding in Python, book-binding, playing games (D2, R6, OW, …), and of course makeup.

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